How to View Suffering

What suffering is and two ways to view it

What suffering is

Suffering is the experience of pain or distress. It takes many forms: physical emotional social and spiritual.[1]

The verb for suffer can mean to let or allow, to experience or endure, or to feel pain or anguish. Words to describe suffering include: pain affliction anguish, depression grief sorrow misery, frustration anxiety distress, oppression isolation loneliness.[2]

Sources of suffering include: satanic activity, the world’s flawed system, man's poor choices, and one’s own fallen nature.[3]

The two views of suffering

There are two ways to look at suffering. One way to look at it is from a material or worldly point of view, and the other way to look at it is from a spiritual or heavenly point of view.

MATERIAL — From a material view, the physical world is all there is and the meaning of life is about finding happiness. We get to decide what makes us happy and we work to create that. In this view, suffering cannot be good because it takes away happiness. It destroys the meaning of life and the reason to keep living. In this view, suffering wins and you lose.

In the material worldview, suffering plays no meaningful part in life. The only thing to do with suffering is avoid it - or if it is unavoidable, then minimize the pain and discomfort as much as possible.[4]

SPIRITUAL — From a spiritual view, suffering is a temporary intrusion in this world: creation was originally good, then sin entered and produced suffering, however all things work out for good. In this view, God allows suffering; sometimes he sends it, sometimes satan causes it, and sometimes it is the result of sin and being part of a sinful world. In this view, suffering is temporary but in the end you win.

In the spiritual worldview, suffering plays an important part in life. God is in control, he works things for good, and at some point soon there will be no more pain or suffering.[5]

Sidenote: while many people choose to reject God because of the presence of suffering in this world, it's important to note that just as many people find God through suffering (it moves them toward God rather than away). It just depends on the individual.[6]

So there are two ways to look at suffering: material or spiritual. And the choice a person makes there usually determines the outcome suffering has on their life.

3 purposes, 3 outcomes

The three purposes for suffering

From a material view suffering has no purpose, but from a spiritual view suffering serves three meaningful divine purposes: retribution, education, and redemption.[7]

1. Retribution — is where good deeds get rewarded and evil deeds get punished; this is how eternal divine justice plays out: God repays people according to what they've done.[8]

2. Education — is where love acts by way of disciplining a person in order to lead them on the right path. Discipline could be to correct past wrongs or prevent future harms.[9]

3. Redemption — some suffering in this world has no purpose other than to save people; at times leaders suffer for others, and at other times people suffer for their beliefs.[10]

From a spiritual point of view, in the darkness of suffering a divine light shines to help you through the dark and into the light. From this view, we can see how it serves a purpose.

The three outcomes of suffering

Suffering leads to one of three outcomes: hardness of heart, redirection, and blessing.[11]

1. Hardness of heart — in seasons of suffering there's a battle going on for control of your heart. You can give it to God and he will use the pain to soften your heart, or you can turn away from God and risk having the pain harden your heart permanently. Adversity gives us a choice: to become better or bitter. Choose better.[12]

2. Redirection — if we let the season of suffering help us become better it will: drive us closer to God, give us new insight into his nature, prepare us for greater good here, and get us ready for heaven. Suffering moves a person from the road they were on and onto a higher or lower road. It is a test. Take the higher road.[13]

3. Blessing — if we choose the previous two items correctly, the end result of suffering is a harvest of blessing: endurance character hope joy maturity; it teaches God’s presence is always available and greater than anything we can ever face in this world, and it shows us his wisdom and power to transform bad into good.[14]

We can’t always change the things we have to experience, but we can always choose how an experience changes us. Choose wisely.[15]

Four key questions

Four key questions for you

All human beings want to understand the meaning of life and take a position toward it. And that goes for suffering too - we want to find meaning in our miseries. The following four simple questions address this well.

1. Do you want to know who you are - your strengths and your weaknesses?

2. Do you want to be a compassionate person who can help others who are hurting?

3. Do you want to develop a faith that helps you through the disappointments of life?

4. Do you want to simply be wise about how life goes?

All four of these things are crucial to have in life but none of them are achievable without suffering. Think about it. Through suffering we learn about our strengths and weaknesses, acquire compassion, develop our faith, and become wiser.[16]

When you learn to reframe suffering and can see it not as something bad but something beneficial in the long run, you will move into a powerful growth position in life.

Suffering doesn’t happen to you. It happens for you.

Every story matters

One story

We all have a story, and every story matters.

Even though I don’t like to talk about myself, I should briefly mention my story here and why writing this page means so much to me.

My story, in short-form, reads like a suffering resume: abandoned rejected, used abused, confused betrayed, deceived divorced, broke broken, homeless hopeless, hungry lonely, severely injured, suffered endured, tested refined, stronger wiser, humbled grateful.

I have survived complete loss physically emotionally financially socially and spiritually. At one point, I cried privately for ten years. During that time, many people said I was the happiest person they knew, but honestly I felt extremely depressed.

Writing this page means a lot to me because I understand that life is hard, it really hurts at times, and it doesn't matter who you are this world is gonna leave some battle scars.

I have tried the two views above, tasted the three purposes, lived the three outcomes, and answered the four questions. I know what works and what doesn’t (the material bitter lower road doesn’t work; the spiritual better higher road does work).

We all have a story, and in every story there is suffering and scars. Walking through those seasons is difficult but it can be easier when you know what works. Let’s look at that now…

What works: going into & through the storm

Inevitable

Life turns everyone upside down.
Suffering is an inevitable part of the human experience. No amount of money power or planning can prevent grief illness disaster or a host of other troubles.[17]

Even God suffers. He suffers pain when people do evil. He suffers as a parent. He suffers with his chosen people. He suffers with all of humanity’s pain.[18]

Suffering touches every life and it turns everyone upside down at some point. No one escapes unscathed. It is part of life. But victimhood is optional.[19]

Temporary

All things pass. This too shall pass.
Going into and through the storms of life is grueling and can feel like it will never end but it eventually does. It ends, we survive, life continues.[20]

Remember: tests are temporary. God teaches and shapes for a season. He watches how we do life. If we are faithful with a few things, he can set us over many things.[21]

Your pain won’t last forever. It’s for now not forever. So be strong and press on. This season of life will end like all seasons do. After winter, comes spring.[22]

Divine plan

Suffering is never for nothing.
Troubles give us knowledge that is gained no other way. The deepest experiences teach us the deepest lessons, and the best traits come from the worst trials.[23]

Suffering shapes us to be instruments of wisdom and grace in a confused harsh world. Character cannot be developed in ease, and character is what God wants, so sometimes trials are allowed to accomplish that.[24]

Rather than turning away from God, turn toward him in trials. Suffering reveals his presence, and God’s presence in a trial is better than exemption from the trial.[25]

Instead of asking God to change the event, ask him to use the event to change you. Every trial can train and equip you for a better future (if you let it).[26]

We’ll never understand all the reasons for suffering, but if we trust there is a divine plan for good at work, God can transform something terrible into something wonderful.[27]

Growth

Attitude and direction.
Your attitude toward trials determines what you get out of them. If you see them as hassle and hurt, you’ll get bitter. If you see them as tests of maturity, you’ll get growth.[28]

Every adversity is an opportunity for growth - to search within and discover something good. What matters most is not what happened but what we do with it.[29]

Victims ask: 'why me?' Survivors ask: 'what now?' Victims get stuck in the past, the loss, the pain, in what they don’t have and can’t do. Awful things happen and they hurt terribly but those experiences are also opportunities to regroup and decide what we want out of life moving forward.[30]

Decide what you want out of life moving forward and starting moving in that direction. Where you are is not as important as what direction you’re headed. Do something positive. Move in the right direction.

Prayer

When we pray, good things happen.
Scripture never looks down on the sufferer. It never mocks pain, turns a deaf ear to cries, or condemns struggle. It presents a God who understands, cares, and invites us to come to him and ask for help.[31]

God is not shocked or surprised when we become discouraged. His tender heart waits to hear our hurts, so let us pour them into his patient ear. Groans that words cannot express are often prayers God cannot refuse.[32]

Scripture’s honesty about life in this broken world is an invitation for us to be just as honest. The book of Psalms is honest cries of confusion doubt and fear in the midst of the most painful trials of life.[33]

God doesn’t reprimand confusion doubt and fear, or minimize what we’re going through. He only wants us to turn to him, ask for help, and trust him while He comforts and guides and works things out for good.[34]

Meditate

Journals and Devotionals.
Suffering tends to make us self-absorbed, which only increases the pain. Instead, we should look at it as a way to know God better and draw near to him like never before.[35]

One of the main ways we move from distant knowledge of God to a close encounter with him is through the furnace of affliction. Suffering refines us rather than destroys us because God walks with us in the fire.[36]

Scripture says God is near to the brokenhearted. He hears upholds delivers saves heals strengthens and lifts up. He cares. He never leaves. He never abandons.[37]

Comfort is found in the many promises of Scripture. During affliction, it's essential to focus on these promises to keep from becoming too discouraged.[38]

Your greatest weapon for the battle is spending time alone with God - through prayer, Bible study, devotionals reflection meditation and journaling.

Journals and devotionals are excellent tools. Morning devotionals are the easiest best way to meet with God everyday. And what we work out in journals we don’t take out on others. Try both. They make a big difference.[39]

Press into faith

We don't need to understand God to trust him. God’s ways are often beyond our ability to understand. At these times, we must simply press into faith and trust and hope.[40]

Some trials happen not because of what we’ve done but because of what God is doing. Some trials are not punishment. They’re the opposite. They’re to build us up: trials produce endurance, character and hope.[41]

Trusting here is not easy. It's not a passive state of mind. It's a vigorous act of the soul by which we choose to hold onto the promises of Scripture and cling to them despite pain that can feel too heavy to bear.[42]

Scripture reminds us to not dwell on the past, and to simply trust and believe God can create something beautiful out of any situation (even if we cannot see any good ahead while we’re walking through the storm).[43]

What if the worst parts of your life are actually gateways to new parts you’d never want to do without?… All things are possible; trust and believe.[44]

Do the next thing

Don't be foolish or despair.
Turbulent times will tempt us and shortcuts will lure us, but actions have consequences. Don’t make a situation worse by doing something foolish.[45]

In life’s disappointments the devil likes to whisper thoughts that lead to destructive choices. He will lie to you and tell you this suffering is for nothing. Don’t listen to him.[46]

'Do the next thing' is the simplest formula for success and peace, and relief from stress. It has gotten me through more agony than anything else I could recommend.[47]

Here’s some ideas: take a deep breath, read stretch move walk exercise, eat a healthy meal, take a shower, make a plan, play a game, help someone, smile laugh, sing worship dance, or sleep. … What’s the next thing you should do?

Set a goal

Take a step toward your future.
Everyone moves through pain at their own pace. The process cannot be rushed. At a certain point though, we must decide to stop reliving the hurt and try to write the next chapter.

If we keep reliving the hurt in our mind, we end up experiencing trauma as if it’s happening in the present. We must stop replaying the bad and try to make forward progress.[48]

You write the next chapter one day at a time. Set achievable goals. Baby steps count. Build momentum. Celebrate progress. It’s hard at first but it will get easier. You can do it.

Become stronger

Though we fall, we rise again.
The mark of a successful person is not how they respond to victories but how they sit with losses and find value in them.[49]

In the aftermath of every loss, a wiser more discerning understanding empathetic compassionate person of strength and humility has the potential to arise within us.[50]

The strongest people endure the pressure of life without succumbing to it. They never give up, they endure and become even stronger. So keep going, you are becoming stronger.[51]

Set boundaries

Bad relationships need good boundaries.
When suffering occurs because of bad relationships, it’s time to set good boundaries, it’s time to train people how to treat you. It’s time to say 'no more' to the bad stuff.[52]

Forgiveness is necessary, it releases the need for retaliation, but not the need for boundaries. Do not confuse the command to love with the disease to please. It’s for the sake of your sanity that you set good boundaries, and it’s for the sake of your stability that you stay consistent with boundaries.[53]

If someone is constantly having a negative impact on you, then you need to reduce their access to your life. Understand boundaries aren’t to push them away, they’re to hold you together. It's bringing wisdom into a bad situation.[54]

Good boundaries increase your ability to function well within the capacity you have. So be honest with others about what you can and cannot give them.[55]

Be a comforter

Those who suffer are in a unique position to comfort others. Their experiences give them a deeper understanding sensitivity gentleness and concern for those who are in a storm.[56]

Perhaps what happened to you is so you can help someone that needs it. Perhaps your untapped potential lies in the shadows.[57]

A sufferer needs two things: to not feel alone* and someone to listen (*note: time spent showing compassion to another is never a waste of time; it adds purpose and meaning to life; quiet moments of compassion are epic moments of battle).[58]

When we talk with others about their suffering, it is best to begin by discovering their thoughts rather than sharing our views. Be careful not to assume that those who are suffering should feel any particular way.[59]

Also, there is no use in comparing. We each carry our wounds in our own way. There is no sense or value in comparing or gauging your wounds.[60]

We all want quick answers that try to tie bows around the big blows of life. It sounds good in theory but never holds up in real life. So offer the only real answer available: 'God helped me survive, he’ll help you too, and I’ll stay by you while you find your way to him.'[61]

Being a comforter is simple: let them know they’re not alone and listen when they need it. Then watch how your suffering turns into a gift because you’ll know you matter, you make a difference, and you're making the world a better place.

In summary, suffering is the experience of pain or distress, and the two ways to view it are material and spiritual.

Its three purposes are divine retribution, education, and redemption. And its three outcomes are hardness of heart, redirection, and blessing.

If we walk through suffering wisely, it helps us answer some key questions about life and develop crucial things to have in life. It helps us learn about our strengths and weaknesses, acquire compassion, develop faith, and become wiser.

Walking through seasons of suffering is difficult but it can be easier when you know what works. Accept it's inevitable. Remember it's temporary. Trust there is a divine plan for good. Use it to mature and grow you. Pray, journal, and do morning devotionals. Press into faith and hope. Do the next thing. Set a goal. Be strong. Set boundaries. And look to be a comforter.

No matter where you are on your journey, you can face the storms of life, and walk into and through them with wisdom and care. Simply repeat these steps, and never give up.

Books

. A Grief Observed · Lewis · Grds Ama

. A Grace Disguised · Sittser · Grds Ama

. Streams in the Desert · Cowman · Grds Ama

. Suffering Is Never for Nothing · Elliot · Grds Ama

. Forgiving What You Can’t Forget · TerK.. · Grds Ama

. It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way · TerK.. · Grds Ama

. Walking..through Pain Suffering · Keller · Grds Ama

. You’ll Get Through This · Lucado · Grds Ama

. Unshakable Hope · Lucado · Grds Ama

. Boundaries · Cloud · Grds Ama

Articles

. How to Develop More Joy

. How to Develop More Peace

. How to Develop Your Spirituality

. How to Overcome Depression

. Health Master List